Was Never Mine


Sometimes you find yourself trying to let go of something
But it’s like you have been swimming in the ocean
For a very very long time
And you feel like you belong there
You are one with the waves
The warmth of the water
And your body moves in sync with the ocean
And you swim around just trying to stay afloat
Then you get tired and you start to drown
And you swim back to land
When you get there you just feel so heavy

Because you lost touch with gravity for so long
And you collapse on the beach
As you try to find balance again
And then your feet finds gravity
You stand up and you look at the horizon one last time
And just know that no matter how beautiful the sea was
And how good it made you feel it was never yours for you to keep
And someday’s you will miss it, you know
And you feel yourself moving with the waves
And you dream of diving in
Then you realize your feet was meant for land

And not cut out for the ocean
Maybe you’re meant to climb trees
Or hike hills or just run really fast
Letting go is not easy
There is nothing quite like swimming in the ocean
Just like how it’s natural for your feet to find gravity
It’s natural for you to let go
And find your true purpose in life again
The sea is the sea
And you are just you
I have to let go

But sometimes I find myself waking up at the beach again~ Yuna


We Grew Up

A child holding hands with her parents.

We Grew up, and we realized medicine isn’t a fruit juice

We Grew up, and we realized who leaves us from loved ones and family, will never come back as mom said,

We Grew up to find our problems can no longer be solved by a piece of candy or a dress, or a handbag,

We Grew up to realize our parents can’t hold our hands always to cross the road or go through life

We Grew up to learn behind mom’s smile a thousand tear, and behind dad’s strength and love a thousand worry and thousand illness

We learned mom and dad strictness was love, and their anger was love, and their punishment was love

We Grew up and realized we didnt grow alone, but our parents grew with us too and they are close to leaving us, or already left us

Sorry Pythagoras, My Parents are the hardest Equation.

Sorry Newton, My Parents are the secret of gravity

Sorry Edison, My Parents are the first light in my life

Sorry Plato, My Parents are my favorite spot in my heart

Sorry Rome, all roads lead to loving my Parents

Sorry my beloved ones, no matter how much i loved you, it wont and will never be as much as i love my parents, they will never be repeated in this life.

Thank you Dad, because I am your Daughter and you are my Father ❤

Thank you Mom, because you are my Mother ❤ and I am your Daughter

{Say not to them [so much as], “uff,” and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word} Surah Al-Isra [23]


M : Monsters

Lying on bed, waiting on elves to carry me to dream land,
Instead, tiny monsters are dragging me out of bed
Tossing me into the cold ground of somewhere,
Somewhere familiar, a hotel room with dim lights,
Phone between my shaky hands, screen flashing “Lovely Mom”
I don’t want to answer ! yet my hands pick up the call


Mom : ….. whats the embassy phone number
Me: Nooo (tears streaming down my cheeks) where is dad !
Mom: I need embassy number, Ca..
Knowing the answer yet hanging by a glimpse of hope i cry: where is dad? i want my dad!!
(Mom silently sobbing) : he .. passed out


Everything shattered around me as i let out a scream
Hearing mom’s faint voice through phone: hush my baby.. be strong for your younger siblings ..
Monsters tiny hands crawl over my throat chocking me to sleep..

K : Kind Eyes


10 P.M. Sitting in the balcony,  watching her movements

Her hands working on matches, lighting up candles

A tiny smile forming on her lips, softening her features,

Her eyes twinkling to the light of candles

Silent moments lost in our thoughts

Mother, are you thinking of Dad ?

“I wonder” she said.