I’ve yet to discover the sound that heart makes when it breaks
Does it yell out loud when it’s angry?
Does it weep when it’s sad?
And when it’s lost, does it call for help?
Would anybody be able to hear it?
How do you find a forgotten heart?
Tucked away in some abandoned place
And giving it another chance of feeling again
Sometimes an old heart just needs a new body
And a lifeless body just needs a new heart
Sometimes you just need a little bit of help from someone
For a heart to do what it is meant to do again~ Yuna
Lying on bed, waiting on elves to carry me to dream land,
Instead, tiny monsters are dragging me out of bed
Tossing me into the cold ground of somewhere,
Somewhere familiar, a hotel room with dim lights,
Phone between my shaky hands, screen flashing “Lovely Mom”
I don’t want to answer ! yet my hands pick up the call
Mom : ….. whats the embassy phone number
Me: Nooo (tears streaming down my cheeks) where is dad !
Mom: I need embassy number, Ca..
Knowing the answer yet hanging by a glimpse of hope i cry: where is dad? i want my dad!!
(Mom silently sobbing) : he .. passed out
Everything shattered around me as i let out a scream
Hearing mom’s faint voice through phone: hush my baby.. be strong for your younger siblings ..
Monsters tiny hands crawl over my throat chocking me to sleep..
I don’t know if anything matters anymore, she said, but i do know i care about my kids.
It wasn’t good enough, I knew that. Honestly I did, in my mind it was crystal clear.
My heart however, was having a serious case of selective hearing.
All it heard was, I care about my kids. And within that-was a glimmer of hope, a spark of optimism.
Please don’t change who you are,
Our lives should continue as if dad was here with us
Doing everything according to his wishes.
Please don’t change that
Please Just be You, Mom.
Wavering in and between
Like angry waves breaking on shore
Angry for its hesitant between land and sea
Praying it would vibrate into air
Handing its destiny to clouds to be carried away
To further places away from home
Away from everything it once knew
To be rained down on a child’s smiling face
Filled with innocent and hope