Chapter 57 : The Fall

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The Fall is forever one of my favorite movies, I was eighteen years old when I watched ‘The Fall’ for the first time, i loved everything about it, couldn’t really understand the whole idea behind it, but couldn’t forget it, till i watched it over and over again couple of days ago, not knowing that this movie was going to change my life. At the time I was suffering from heavy depression, anxiety and on the verge of emotional and physical collapse.

After understanding this movie, it changed my outlook on life. It showed me that despite thinking I was alone, that there was no one around who cared and even when I thought I was undesirable, there was always someone. I came to realize that the world is not perfect and it is filled with heartbreak, hatred and curses but it also is filled with beauty and hope. That you are never alone, that there is always someone who depends on you and leaving them alone, like the many who left me, creates a malicious cycle of anger and sorrow.

The day I understood this movie was the day I went into recovery, it was the day I decided to get help for my mental issues and it was the day that I decided to come clean about my behavior to those I loved. It was the beginning of the steady road to happiness, to feeling love. Since that evening, I have dedicated my life to surviving the impossible and to making it out alive. I have come to terms with my issues, I have come to terms with the struggles I still have ahead of me, but I have also come to terms with the amazing people in my life who have tried to help me all along but I never allowed them to.

It took a quiet evening on January 26th, 2016 to realize how precious my life is, that every bandit has a happy ending and most importantly, that the water is only waist high.

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